Tuesday, October 05, 2004

The Un-Circumcised Children's Mass

The music teacher at our elementary school organizes and prepares the children for our weekly all-school Masses. And she does a good job, too. In fact, she's been my "unindicted co-conspirator" in several of my more "Thrown Back" efforts at the school.

So yesterday, she comes to me with a look of deep concern on her face.

"Umm, Father," she says, "have you looked at the readings for Wednesday's Mass yet?"

"Well, no, not yet," I answered.

"I thought so," she continued. "Well, there's all that language in it about circumcision and uncircumcision, the circumcised and uncircumcised."

"Okay", I replied, unsure where this was going.

"The little kids don't know what circumcision is," she continued. "I was just concerned because they're not going to have a clue what that means."

"Of course not," I said, still not sure where we were headed.

"Well," she said, probably marvelling at my cluelessness, "you weren't going to talk about what that is, were you? I hope you weren't planning on explaining that or anything."

Obviously she was afraid I might carry my penchant for teaching the kids a little too far.

Images went through my head of my pastor taking dozens of outraged phone calls from irate parents, all to the effect of "get rid of that idiot Johansen", if I actually did something like that.

I answered her "No, oh no! I wouldn't preach about that! It's not like I'd make that the topic of my homily. You don't think I'd actually do that, do you?"

I'm glad I could set her at ease.